


Forgive My Attitude

by goodmorningbaltimoore45



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Hate to Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-15 13:52:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7224970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodmorningbaltimoore45/pseuds/goodmorningbaltimoore45
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa has always found Clarke Griffin infurating, aka, they fucking hate eachother. Until they start fucking then things get messy and awkward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How It Began

**Author's Note:**

> okay enjoy:)

“What are _you_ doing here?” Clarke sneers in Lexa’s ear, surprising and making her jump. 

“I could ask you the same question, I didn’t know they let the trash in here.” Lexa starkly replies. 

“Well, you’re here, so…” Clarke raises an eyebrow and Lexa grinds her teeth, she walked right into that. 

Well used to the comments that they shared, it didn’t really stung. She only felt the embarrassment at not having a better comeback than Clarke. She’s always had this horrible relationship with the annoying blonde. Ever since Clarke had crashed into her car because she was refreshing that horrible red lipstick she always wore. Lexa had cursed her out, only to find out that Clarke lived in the same floor as her. 

They kept this snarky relationship, even after their friends, Octavia and Lincoln, started dating. They shared a literature class and they’d gotten kicked out several times for arguing about which author was better. Lexa loved the classics and Clarke loved the more modern stuff, or ‘trash’ as Lexa called it. 

“Go away, Clarke.” 

“Make me.” she replies and Lexa rolls her eyes, walking away. “Your presentation in literature class sucked, by the way. Who cares about old, wrinkly white men?” Lexa turns, not believing what she’s hearing. 

“Shakespeare is a fucking legend!” she argues. 

“I prefer John Green.” 

“Jesus Christ.” Lexa says and rolls her eyes. “Have you ever read any of his work?” 

“Does Spark Notes count?” 

“No.” Lexa scoffs. “He’s singlehandedly the most important author on Earth and he’ll always be.” 

“Mm.” Clarke replies dismissively and Lexa narrows her eyes. 

“You don’t think he’s important?” 

“I don’t care for him.” 

“I do.” 

“And that’s supposed to make me care as well? Plus, you got to admit that he stole a lot of things from other countries. Doesn’t that make him a rip-off?” 

“Well, no. But-“Lexa stutters before quieting and Clarke raises an eyebrow. “Fine, maybe he’s not awfully important.” Lexa spits out. 

“Yeah, because he’s just plain awful.” Lexa scoffs, ready to argue, when Anya appears next to her, beer bottle in hand. 

“Are you two bitches still arguing about Shakespeare? Jesus, let it go, you fucking weirdos.” 

“I agree, let it go Lexa.” Clarke replies and Lexa rolls her eyes, nails digging into her cup. 

“Whatever. You know I’m right.” 

“You’re not and I’ll _never_ agree with you.” Clarke replies, stepping closer to Lexa until Lexa can feel her breath on her lips. Her eyes flutter subconsciously and Clarke steps back abruptly, taken aback by the closeness. She looks between a smug Anya and an embarrassed Lexa before scoffing and walking away. 

Lexa lets out a breath and avoids Anya’s amusement filled eyes. 

“Shut the fuck up, Anya. I know what you’re going to say.” 

“You’re so fucking gay.” Anya replies and Lexa sighs. 

\- 

“I am so fucking gay.” Lexa mumbles as she lays on her bed. Her stomach has been in shambles since running into Clarke in the laundry room a while before. She can’t actually believe she’s acting like a fifteen year old girl again. She’s twenty one for God’s sake and Clarke is _18_! She doesn’t understand how a freshmen is making her lose her wits. 

A knock at the door startles her from her thoughts and she sits up rapidly. She grumbles her way to the door, figuring its Anya. 

It’s not. 

“You dropped this.” Clarke says, tossing her a flimsy black thong. Lexa drops it in surprise as she figures out what it is. 

“That’s Anya’s.” 

“I figured.” Clarke replies, smirking. Lexa stops and narrows her eyes, crossing her arms and dropping one hip. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” She asks and Clarke smirks as she looks her up and down. 

“You don’t seem like the type.” 

“What?” 

“You know what I mean, Lexa.” she replies and Lexa huffs, because she does. Just because she’s not the most ornate thing on Earth, doesn’t mean she’s not sexy. Sure, she was wearing her old sweatpants and her hair was a mess, but she _can_ be sexy. 

“Thought about me naked much?” she asks without thinking and Clarke’s mouth drops, a flush blooming on her face. Lexa widens her eyes and she drops her arms awkwardly. “Oh.” 

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Clarke replies defensively, jutting out her chin dramatically. She breathes in deeply, gathering herself up together and her infuriating smirk is back. Lexa feels like screaming. 

“It’s hardly a compliment coming from you.” She growls instead and Clarke’s smirk grows. 

“Whatever. I’ve caught you staring at my tits too many times to count.” 

“I don’t-I-“she sputters. “What?” she can’t help but glance at chest, noticing the black crop top that adorns her chest perfectly. 

“My eyes are up here, Lexa.” Clarke says and Lexa flushes, damning her. Who wears a crop top on a Tuesday morning, anyway? 

“Okay, you gave me Anya’s thong. Can you leave now? I have shit to do.” Lexa replies and begins to close the door, Clarke puts one foot inside before she can, shouldering her way inside. 

“Actually, I need to wait for Anya. She has my USB.” 

“Wait for her in your own damn room.” She replies and begins to close the door again. 

“I can’t. Octavia and Lincoln are in there and they’re fucking.” Lexa huffs and stops, letting Clarke into her dorm, closing the door with a ‘click’ after her. 

“Fine. Whatever. Stay on her side of the room and don’t speak to me.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Clarke replies and Lexa rolls her eyes before laying on her bed, her back to Clarke. 

The two girls sit quietly for a moment and Lexa swears she feels Clarke’s eyes burning holes in her. She keeps her eyes on her Spanish book, gritting her teeth, her body stiff and unrelenting. Finally she turns towards Clarke and raises an eyebrow. 

“What?” Clarke replies, not ashamed at being caught staring. 

“Stop staring at me.” 

“I wasn’t.” 

“Yes, you were.” 

“Whatever. Turn back to your book.” Clarke replies rolling her eyes and sitting on Anya’s desk chair. Lexa huffs and rolls back. Clarke rolls on the chair, letting out a tiny squeak and Lexa sighs dramatically. 

“Can you stop that?” she nearly growls and Clarke moves more rapidly, causing a series of squeaks. 

“Stop what?” she asks and Lexa turns to her with murderous eyes. Clarke widens her eyes in mock innocence and Lexa stands up, tossing her book on her bed. She presses her hands to Clarke’s shoulders, stopping her from moving. 

“Stop squeaking.” Lexa replies and Clarke eyes dilate, turning from the green in Lexa’s eyes to her pert lips. Lexa herself finds herself looking at Clarke’s lips. She swallows dryly and pushes herself from Clarke, trying to gather her thoughts. She flops on her bed and gives Clarke her back again. 

Anya’s chair doesn’t squeak again and Lexa is more than sure that Clarke hasn’t moved since her hands left her shoulders. She finds herself seeking out any movement or any sign of life from that side of the room. She doesn’t hear anything and she turns towards her book again, trying to retain information for her exam. 

She’s so into her book, she doesn’t notice the bed dipping under the weight of someone new. It’s not until someone rips her book from her hands that she notices. 

“I thought I told you to stay on that side of the room.” She grumbles, trying to wrestle her book from Clarke’s grip. Clarke grins and tears the book from her hands. Her eyes widen, impressed, when she reads the cover. 

“I can’t believe that you’re reading love poems by Pablo Neruda. I thought you didn’t have a heart.” 

“It’s for my Spanish class, can you please hand it back?” she grits her teeth when Clarke dangles it away from her grip. Clarke leans back, keeping it from her reach and Lexa reaches over, fingers desperately grasping for it. She grabs Clarke’s arm and they wrestle for a second, before Clarke lays back on the bed, Lexa hovering over her. 

Lexa notices how close they are and how one of legs rests between Clarke’s legs. She swallows drily, book forgotten, eyes focused on the lip between Clarke’s teeth. 

The air is still, as are the two girls laying on the bed, all while Lexa’s heart beats erratically in her chest, pumping blood to her cheeks. 

Lexa finds it hard to breathe as she watches the way Clarke’s breathing heavily and the look in her eyes that’s making something bloom between her legs. She’s not thinking of anything as she closes in on Clarke, eyes on her lips and closes them when their lips meet. 

Clarke sighs and slightly moans into the kiss, moving her lips against Lexa. Lexa’s hand finds Clarke’s waist and she presses her entire body against Clarke, groaning at the feel of their breasts pushed together, she doesn’t care that they’re still clothed, it’s the closest thing to heaven she’s felt. She opens her mouth to Clarke’s tongue and Clarke whimpers, bringing one hand to cup Lexa’s cheek. 

They kiss slowly, languidly. Lexa doesn’t know whether it’s been ten minutes or an hour, all that she knows is that she doesn’t want it to stop. 

Which means that it totally does. 

The sound of the door opening makes the two girls spring apart. Lexa sits up and Clarke does as well, book still in her hand. Anya walks in, not noticing the awkwardness of the room, fully engrossed in her phone. She closes the door with her foot and nods in hello to the two girls. 

“’Sup?” Lexa and Clarke nod as well and Lexa feels her face burning with something keen to emberrasment. She feels like Anya could tell what they were doing and she has never felt more ashamed. “You nerds studying?” 

“I came for my USB.” Clarke says. She stands and hands Lexa’s book back to her. Lexa grabs it, their hands and eyes meet, both flitting away quickly. 

“Oh, shit. Hold on.” Anya begins to search through her drawer and Lexa rolls over in her bed, giving both of them her back. She licks her lips, still tasting Clarke on them. Her back burns with Clarke’s gaze again but she doesn’t turn this time, instead she stares at her book so hard her eyes water. She doesn’t turn when Anya hands Clarke her USB. 

“Thanks.” Is all Clarke says and then she’s gone, Lexa turns and only manages to catch a glimpse of gold. 

“That was weird. Were you two fighting again?” Anya asks, sitting on her squeaky chair and Lexa blushes again when she remembers Clarke’s intense look. 

“No. We didn’t speak.” 

“Hmm.” Anya replies but doesn’t push it, Lexa has never been so thankful. “Anyway, I’m leaving. Raven’s waiting for me, I just came for my wallet.” Anya grabs her wallet from her drawer and stuffs it in her purse. “Want me to bring you something, Lexa?” 

“No.” she answers, her mind far, far away. She’s still thinking about blue eyes and plump pink lips. Anya shrugs and leaves. Lexa relaxes, closing her eyes. She bites her lips as she plays her kiss with Clarke and she can’t figure out why she didn’t do it sooner. She wonders what would have happened if Anya hadn’t interrupted. 

She groans and rubs her eyes until she sees stars. She’s chastises herself for being ridiculous. Clarke is an obnoxious pre-med major, not to mention a _freshman_. It doesn’t matter how good of a kisser she was, she was off limits. 

But boy, was she a good kisser. 

\- 

It’s Friday night, which of course means it’s time for another night of unauthorized debauchery and underage drinking. Lexa sits on Lincoln’s couch, swearing she’ll get an apartment next semester. She watches people for a while, definitely not seeking Clarke. 

At least that’s what she tells herself. 

It had been two weeks since whatever-the-hell happened on her bed. She had seen the blonde in passing and things were back to their normal eye rolling and nasty comments routine. They hadn’t mentioned anything about it and she’s be a liar if she didn’t admit that her eyes did not stray to Clarke’s lips often. 

Or her tits. 

Anya huffed as she sat next to her, drinking her beer. 

“Are we the oldest ones here?” 

“We’re only 21.” 

“Precisely.” Anya retorts. “Bunch of kiddos here.” 

“Where’s Raven?” 

“I don’t know. Probably with Kyle somewhere.” 

“I thought you were dating.” Her sister’s relationship with Raven was short of complicated and she had a hard time trying to keep up with it. 

“We are. Sorta” Anya shrugs and sighs. “She’s not out yet and her cousin transferred this semester.” 

“Does Kyle know he’s her beard?” Lexa asks, not hiding her smirk. 

“Do I need to remind you of Costia and _your_ beard?” 

“Lincoln knew he was my beard.” 

“Yeah, yeah. But no, Kyle does not know. And I’m gonna break his fucking hand if he doesn’t remove it from her waist.” Lexa laughs at that and Anya flips her off, leaning back on the couch. “Oh, Lex. The kindergartener is here.” 

“What?” 

“Blondie. Eight O’clock, you fucking doofus.” She slaps her over the head and Lexa cranes her neck. Her jaw nearly drops, taking in Clarke in a silver sparkly dress, showing of her toned legs and making her blue eyes sparkle more than they usually do. Her best friend Wells talks to her and Clarke lets out a loud laugh at something he says. Her eyes meet Lexa’s and she rolls them, making Lexa turn away in return. 

“You’re drooling.” 

“Shut up.” She downs most of her drink in one gulp, ignoring the way it burns her throat. 

“She is looking _fine_.” 

“Whatever.” Lexa says in return, shrugging. She eyes a pretty brunette that’s been making eyes at her all night, she smiles and the girl blushes. Anya scoffs, catching everything. 

“Really? You’re ridiculous. You and little Miss. Prissy have been making heart eyes at each other for nearly six months and you’re gonna fuck that girl instead?” she rolls her eyes. “I don’t get you.” 

“We have not been making heart eyes at each other, at _all_.” Lexa retorts and Anya groans, rubbing her face with her hands. 

“Listen to me, little monkey-“ 

“I told you to stop calling me that.” 

“Whatever. Go fuck that girl in a broom closet. We both know you’re gonna be thinking of blonde hair instead.” Anya rolls her eyes, not understanding her sister. She knew from the second she saw Raven that they had chemistry, a fucking connection. She also knew that Lexa and Clarke had the same connection, but of course they were both idiots. Her sister especially. 

Well, maybe that’s why she’s the smart one in the family. 

“I won’t. I’ll be thinking of her.” Lexa says, standing and walking over to the brunette. 

“That’s what I said.” Anya calls after her. She grumbles and meets Raven’s eye from across the room. Kyle is talking about something or another and Raven shoots her a ‘save me now’ look. Anya drops her beer on the table, drinking would wait. She needed to save her woman and maybe get laid. 

Meanwhile, Lexa was quickly finding out she had chosen wrong and would be marred with her mistake. The brunette girl, who she found out to be named Fox, talked super-fast about how cute her roommate was and how nice she was and Lexa soon found her eyes drifting away. 

Particularly to a blonde that leaned against the wall, talking to Wells and occasionally meeting her eye. Clarke shoot her a glare and Lexa glowers back. 

“-and then she’ll…” Fox continues and Lexa hums in reply. She looks away from Clarke and meets the victorious look of her sister, who smiles in farewell. Lexa scowls at her with jealousy. What she’d do for this party to be over and for her to return to her dorm, where she could sleep and maybe masturbate in peace. 

Because things were definitely not happening here. 

\- 

“Look at her, Wells. She’s so arrogant. Doesn’t she-“Clarke asks, smacking him in the chest with the back of her hand. “Like just _stand_ like an arrogant asshole?” 

“I don’t know, Clarke. She seems nice.” Wells replies and Clarke glares at him. “I mean, yeah, yeah she’s a bitch.” 

“I mean, what kind of girl kisses and doesn’t call or even mention it?” 

“Maybe she wanted you to.” 

“Lexa?” she snorts. “No, no. she’s arrogant, Wells. I told you already.” 

“Ah, arrogant. Got it.” Wells replies, smiling down at Clarke. 

“Are you mocking me?” 

“Ah, no.” Wells holds his hands up in mock surrender. “It’s just-“he cringes. 

“What?” she snaps and Wells mentally says his final goodbyes. 

“It seems like this really affected you, Clarke. You should let her know, maybe she feels the same.” He shrugs and Clarke’s eyes light up like a mad scientist. Wells immediately begins to backtrack. “Wait, Clarke-“ 

“So you’re saying I should confront her?” 

“No! No! I’m saying you need to talk it out like rational adults and-“ 

“Got it. Got it. Thanks, Wells.” Clarke replies, sauntering over to Lexa and that brunette _bitch_ talking to her. 

“Ah. Shit. No, Clarke!” he sighs. He should’ve known better than to make Clarke see anything rational, she always chooses her heart over her mind. 

Finn eyes him from across the room and Wells waves shyly. Finn looks away smiling at the floor shyly, Wells does the same. 

\- 

“Lexa, I need to speak to you.” Clarke says and Lexa sighs, pleasantly surprised to see the blonde by her side but hiding it very well. 

“Can’t you see I’m busy?” Lexa replies, motioning to Fox, who has now called her roommate and is smiling into the phone. Clarke huffs and grabs Lexa’s arm, dragging her away. 

“Can I borrow her for a moment? Okay, thanks.” Clarke says and Lexa rolls her eyes but follows, her heart doing a strange thing in her chest. 

(She thinks it’s a heart attack and not the proximity of Clarke.) 

Clarke drags her into the restroom, shutting and locking it. Lexa sighs and sits on edge of the sink, raising an eyebrow. 

“You wanted to talk.” 

“I did.” 

“Then speak.” Lexa crosses her arms, waiting for her to begin. Clarke sighs and takes one deep breath, ready to go off on her tangent. 

“I don’t know who you think you are, Lexa but you just don’t kiss and don’t talk again! Talk about disrespectful and arrogant.” She rambles, startling Lexa. 

“Jesus, Clarke.” 

“You’re just going to be nothing but an arrogant, lying lawyer and honestly, what the fuck was up with that? Kissing me? “ 

“Okay, shut up!” Lexa groans, Clarke scowls but desists speaking. “God, Clarke. Fuck, I don’t know why I kissed you but I know for a fact that I didn’t say anything because I was waiting for you to do it.” 

“Okay, but I was waiting for you. You’re the one who kissed me!” 

"Clarke,” Lexa sighs, “I didn’t want you to think that I overstepped any lines or made you uncomfortable.” Lexa admits a little quietly and Clarke nearly shakes. 

“You didn’t. It was quite nice.” Clarke confesses. 

“Even though I’m going to be nothing but an arrogant lawyer?” Lexa teases and Clarke huffs, Lexa rolls her eyes. “Fine. Is that all? Are we done here?” Clarke hesitates and Lexa rolls her eyes again. She hates talking about her feelings and she knows that’s all Clarke does. 

“No, we’re not.” 

“I swear if you want me to apologize-“ Lexa starts but doesn’t finish because Clarke presses her lips against hers. She’s surprised and more than a little turned on but Clarke tastes like tequila and bubblegum, making her insane, intoxicating her. 

Lexa relaxes, hands gripping Clarke’s waist, pulling her closer. Clarke brings her hands to Lexa’s neck, cradling her. Lexa opens her mouth to Clarke, sighing when Clarke bites her lip, their lips still moving against another. 

Lexa has no fucking idea what they’re doing and why they’re doing it. She also has no fucking idea as to why she doesn’t want it to end. 

Clarke lets out a hum when one of Lexa’s hands slides over to her behind, squeezing it once. Clarke moans at that and Lexa smirks into the kiss, only to have Clarke bite it away. Clarke’s mouth descends from her mouth to her collarbone, making her gasp at the trail of open mouthed kisses. 

“ _Fuck_ , Clarke.” Clarke hums in return and sucks on her pulse point, bringing chills all over Lexa’s body. “Wait, Clarke.” Clarke doesn’t stop and Lexa pulls her away slowly. 

“What?” she asks ardently, Lexa doesn’t reply but stands up from the sink edge. She turns them both around, pushing Clarke until the small of her back hits the edge of the sink top. She grabs Clarke’s thighs and carries her, making her sit on the top. 

“You’re shorter and there’s no way in hell those shoes are comfortable.” Lexa offers as an explanation and brings their lips together again. They kiss for a few moments, their movements becoming heated and more erratic. Lexa finds her hands digging into Clarke’s thighs and Clarke’s hands tangle in her hair. Soon enough, Clarke’s dress is bunched up and her hands dig into her soft, silk like skin. Clarke moans into her mouth when she presses herself closer to her center, wrapping her legs tighter around her. 

Her hand dances to Clarke’s inner thigh, testing the waters and doesn’t stop until she’s right where Clarke wants her. She presses her hand against the clothed, wet, center, making her arch her back and gasp. 

“Can I?” she mumbles against Clarke’s mouth and Clarke nods vigorously. Lexa hesitates, not wanting to push any boundaries or make her feel uncomfortable. Instead, Clarke huffs and pushes her hand inside her panties herself. Lexa inhales slightly at how wet Clarke is, while her middle finger finds Clarke’s clit and draws little circles around. 

Clarke brings their lips together again, making their teeth clash together, all while basically grinding herself on Lexa’s hand. Lexa kisses her hard, pressing one finger inside Clarke in the slowest way possible. Clarke groans at the lazy way that Lexa moves and urges her with the quick motion of her hips. 

“What, Clarke?” she asks. 

“You know what you’re doing Lexa.” Clarke replies, glaring lightly at her. Lexa smirks and presses into her until she reaches her knuckles and Clarke barely sustains her moan. 

“What was that?” Lexa asks cockily, slowly pumping out of Clarke. 

“Shut the fuck up. I swear…” Clarke begins to ramble, stopping when she notices that Lexa has pulled her finger out of her and has now sank to her knees. “What are you doing?” 

Lexa doesn’t reply and instead kisses her way from Clarke’s knee to her inner thigh, making Clarke let out a loud moan, eyes fluttering shut. Her fingers drag down Clarke panties down and Clarke lifts her hips to help, watching Lexa with darkened eyes, her pupils so blown out Lexa can hardly see the blue. Lexa drops the panties carelessly on the floor. 

“Fuck.” Lexa says, looking up at Clarke, her chest heaving and legs spread out for her. She can’t believe she’s about to eat out Clarke, the most annoying girl on campus. 

One things for sure, she can’t wait to see her come. 

She kisses her way to her inner thigh again, heart thrumming in her chest. Clarke’s starts to breathe more heavily, eyes fluttering shut when Lexa sucks on a spot on her thigh instead of kissing it. Finally, Lexa presses her tongue flat against her, eyes not leaving Clarke’s face. She revels in the way that Clarke scrunches her face and lets out one breathy moan, throwing her head back. 

She sucks on her clit slowly. 

“Lexa, oh my god.” Clarke moans, hand digging into Lexa’s curly hair. Her hips buck into Lexa’s face and Lexa digs two fingers into Clarke, making her bite her lip. Lexa keeps pumping her fingers in and out of Clarke. Clarke’s hips jerk into Lexa’s face, her moans getting louder and her hand pulling on Lexa’s hair tighter. Lexa lets out a moan of her own, eyes still on Clarke, loving the way her hips keep jerking and the tug in her hair. 

She knows Clarke is close when her moves get more erratic and the way she begins to bite on her lips. Lexa begins to pump her fingers faster and sucks on Clarke harder, her other hand goes up and grabs Clarke’s breast. She squeezes it over Clarke’s dress and Clarke grabs her hand presses it harder on it. 

She quickly realizes that Clarke is not wearing a bra underneath her dress, Lexa nearly moans at the feeling of Clarke’s pebbled nipple. She curses herself for not bringing Clarke’s dress down and seeing her glorious breasts. 

Clarke comes with a semi loud moan, hand gripping Lexa’s hair tightly. Lexa keeps her mouth on her until Clarke taps her when she becomes too sensitive. Lexa begins to stand, pulling her fingers from Clarke and wiping them on her jeans. Clarke holds her hips and kisses her, moaning at the taste of her in Lexa’s mouth. Her hand goes to Lexa’s jeans which she unbuttons and digs into Lexa’s panties. 

She pushes two fingers into her and Lexa groans into Clarke’s mouth. Clarke’s thumb finds Lexa’s clit and she circles around it while she pumps into Lexa. 

Lexa comes within a minute, biting Clarke’s lip. She pulls back and rolls her eyes at the smug look in Clarke’s eyes. 

“Shut up, Clarke.” 

“What? I’m just proud of myself.” She says, taking her hand out of Lexa’s jeans and buttoning them up. Lexa sighs and kisses her once, resting her head on the crook of Clarke’s neck. She steps around Clarke to fix her hair and makeup in the mirror. “So...” Clarke begins. 

“What?” 

“We should do that again sometime, maybe on a bed.” Lexa turns at that, her eyes surprised. “Or not. Whatever.” Clarke replies, getting down from the sink top and pulling her underwear back on. She doesn’t meet Lexa’s eyes and begins to walk to the door, unlocking it. 

“We should.” Lexa says and Clarke stops, turning around. 

“You sure?” 

“Yes.” Lexa replies. 

“Maybe next time you won’t come within a minute.” 

“Maybe next time you’ll go down on me, instead.” Lexa retorts, rolling her eyes. 

“Definitely.” Clarke replies, surprising Lexa. She walks over to Lexa and kisses her, not pulling away until Lexa is breathless once again. She walks back to the door, opening it. 

“For the record,” Lexa calls after her. “I still find you infuriating.” Clarke looks at her over her shoulder and smirks. 

"So do I.” 

-


	2. How It Got Awkward and Crashed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get awkward and soft.

“You’re really not going to tell me?” Anya huffs, tossing a box of noodles in the grocery cart. Lexa mentally groans, ready for the conversation to be over. Her and Clarke’s arrangement has been going on for the last two weeks and her sister was starting to catch on, something that was scaring her. 

They both agreed to not tell any of their friends of their weird sex arrangement (Lexa refused to call herself a fuck buddy) and they hid it from them. At first it was awkward as hell to see each other in the hallway and hard as hell to not picture Clarke naked in the middle of Lit class but it got easier. Now, Lexa can actually sit through Lit class without thinking about Clarke’s tits. 

Well, once in a while because Clarke wore crop tops a lot. 

They had a ritual of meeting at the restroom in the art building after Lit class. They would make out for fifteen minutes until Octavia’s one o’clock class started and then they’d be free to mess around in Clarke’s room. They’d separate and meet up in Clarke’s room and have sex on her bed, or Octavia’s bed, if they were feeling adventurous. 

They felt adventurous often, plus Octavia’s bed was the softest. 

Secretly, Lexa loved the fear and excitement that came from thinking someone was going to walk in on them. 

“There’s nothing to tell.” Lexa argues, pushing the cart. Her sister turns to her and stops her from moving the cart. 

“You’re fucking someone and you’re really not going to tell me who it is? I told you about Raven!” 

“Only because I caught you two fucking in our dorm.” 

“It’s your own damn fault for ignoring the sock on the door.” 

“There was no sock on the door, Anya. I’m mentally scarred with the image of Raven in-between your legs.” She shudders as she remembers. 

“Whatever. Tell me who this fuck buddy is.” Anya demands a little too loudly, making an elderly woman shoot them a fierce glare. “Don’t listen in then, grandma.” 

“Anya!” Lexa reprimands her. “Sorry, ma’am. Ignore her, she was dropped as a baby.” The older woman leaves in a huff and Anya rolls her eyes. 

“Whatever. Tell me, little monkey. Who are you fucking? Because that smile is not natural.” 

“You know, you show a lot of interest in your sister’s sex life.” Lexa replies, side stepping Anya and tossing a box of cookies into the cart. 

“We’re not biologically related so it doesn’t matter.” Anya retorts, reading over the back of a cereal box. Lexa rolls her eyes and pushes the cart down the row. 

“The girl from the party, okay?” 

“Are you sure it’s not, I don’t know, Clarke?” Anya raises and eyebrow and stops the cart again, leaning over so Lexa can’t avoid her. 

“Clarke?” Lexa scoffs in what she hopes is convincingly. She looks away from her sister and shakes her head a little, hoping she’s selling it. “She’s like super annoying and like,” she pauses “annoying.” 

“Yeah, never mind. It’s way too ridiculous. You would tear each other apart, the sex would be amazing but you’d be like cats and dogs.” Not that Lexa would ever tell Anya but the sex was very, very amazing. 

“Yeah, that’s too, too crazy.” She lets out a forced chuckle. 

“Oh well, I was rooting for you both.” Anya says, shrugging and letting Lexa move the cart. 

“You sound like a fifteen year old girl.” 

“I know you are but what am I.” Anya replies childishly and Lexa rolls her eyes, relaxing because Anya totally bought it. 

\- 

“Okay, who are you fucking? I think it’s time you told us.” Octavia demands, dumping her books on one of the library’s study tables. Clarke rolls her eyes, not looking at up. 

“Shh, Octavia.” Wells says, ever the teacher’s pet. He smiles apologetically at the other students that shoot them angry looks. 

“Yes, shut up, O.” Clarke agrees; Octavia sits with a scoff and narrows her eyes. 

“Do I know them?” she asks. 

“What are you talking about?” Clarke says, sighing and capping her pen. 

“You know what I’m talking about out.” 

“Actually, I don’t.” 

“Stop lying to me Clarke.” 

“I’m not.” Clarke retorts. 

“That’s not just your highlighter working, you’re fucking glowing and that only happens when you get laid.” Octavia points as she speaks, narrowing her eyes even more. 

“Or maybe it’s cause I bought a new dildo.” Clarke replies, earning looks from around the library. “Hey, we’re all adults here.” 

“Jesus, Octavia. She’s not doing anything, she’s been hanging out with me every day.” Wells adds, lying for his friend. He knew that Clarke was sleeping with someone, if the hickeys on her collarbones were proof. Not to mention, she _was_ glowing. Clarke shoots him a thankful look. “So then you two are fucking then?” 

“No!” Wells nearly screams, earning him a less than impressed look from both girls. “Sorry, Clarke. You’re just not my type.” 

“Sure, sure. We all know the only one that’s your type is a little someone named Finn Collins.” 

“Wait, what?” Wells says. 

“Whatever.” Octavia interrupts. “I’m gonna find out who it is.” She says, narrowing her eyes. 

“Good luck.” is all Clarke says, turning back to her biology book. Her heart beats heavy in her chest. She certainly hopes that Octavia does not find out about her and Lexa. She knows that she and Lexa were not very good at hiding what they were doing but she’s more than sure they need to be more careful now. 

\- 

Lexa sighs as Clarke slowly removes her bra, knowing the reaction she’s about to draw from the other girl. Lexa has not hidden her affinitive love for Clarke’s breasts, even staring at them for over ten minutes the first time she saw them. Lexa thought they were perfect; their size, the pretty pink nipples and the way that they seemed to be made for Lexa’s hands (and mouth). 

“Shh, I just want to look at them, Clarke.” Lexa had told her the first time and Clarke had rolled her eyes but humored her. 

Finally, Lexa swats her hands away and tears it off herself, cupping both breasts. 

“You take the fun out of it.” Clarke says, pouting and arching her back towards Lexa. 

“It’s not fun for me.” 

“My boobs are worth it. Lex-A” Clarke gasps as Lexa brings one of her nipples into her mouth. She swirls her tongue on the pink nipple, while her other rolls Clarke other nipple. 

“They sure are.” Lexa mumbles as she pulls away. She squeezes both of them and turns Clarke over, putting herself on top of Clarke. She brings Clarke’s lips to her own, her hand dipping into Clarke’s underwear, sticking two fingers in her at once. Clarke moans and kisses her ardently, Clarke’s own hand dipping into Lexa’s underwear. She circles Lexa’s clit for a few seconds before dipping two fingers into her, thumb still circling her clit. 

Their kisses begin to get more heated as their hands become more hurried. Lexa comes first, as always, clenching around Clarke’s fingers. She groans and rests her head on the crook of Clarke’s neck, stilling her movements from inside Clarke. She tries to catch her breath and Clarke starts to twitch, needing the friction from Lexa’s fingers. 

“So impatient.” Lexa mumbles and begins to pump again. She lifts her head from Clarke’s neck, watching the pleasure that Clarke is emitting. 

“Your fingers are so long, God, I love it.” Clarke moans, her hand reaches out for Lexa’s back and she digs into the naked skin there. 

“Really?” Lexa teases, stopping again. Clarke groans loudly and swears she’s going to kill her. 

“I swear, if you stop again I will burn your Shakespeare collection.” 

“Chill, Clarke. I’m just teasing.” Lexa smiles and kisses her nose, pumping into Clarke again at a snail’s pace. 

“If you don’t hurry I will also burn your Faulkner collection, you fucking nerd.” Clarke hisses, hips raising, trying desperately for Lexa to hurry up. Lexa sighs. 

“Fine.” She says and pumps faster, making Clarke let out a loud moan. She dips her head, taking one of Clarke’s nipples in her mouth. Clarke moans and comes within a few moments. 

“Fuck, Lex.” Clarke says, one of her hands runs through Lexa’s hair. Lexa lifts her head from Clarke’s chest and lays her head next to her, removing her hand and wiping it on the bedsheets. 

“What were we gonna do again?” 

“Hmm?” Clarke says distractedly, still trying to get down from her high. 

“We were gonna do something before we got, uh, distracted.” 

“Oh, uh, talk, I think? I don’t remember, Lexa.” 

“Me neither.” They stay quiet for a few seconds before Lexa says “Oh, yeah about not having sex in our dorms anymore or something like that?” 

“Huh, guess we broke that fast.” 

“Yeah, kinda hard when we have nowhere else to fuck.” Lexa replies. Clarke shrugs, turning towards Lexa as rests her elbow on the bed, her head resting on the palm of her hand. 

“Yeah, especially with you looking like that.” she points out. 

“Like, what?” 

“All ripped and stuff, it’s very distracting.” 

“Ripped?” Lexa teases again, almost smirking. 

“Yes, Lexa. Don’t pretend like you don’t know the effect you have on several people.” 

“Several people?” 

“Ugh.” Clarke groans. “You’re such a little-“Lexa shuts her up with a kiss, pulling back with a smile. 

“Karate.” She says and raises an eyebrow. 

“Maybe I should start karate. I mean, if it makes me look like _that_ it might actually be worth it.” 

“I like your body, I wish I had your curves.” Under the covers, she runs her hand through Clarke’s waist, loving the dips and curves in Clarke’s body. 

“You just like my boobs, Lexa.” 

“You can’t blame a girl.” Lexa replies, shrugging one shoulder. She pulls back the covers, and kisses one Clarke’s nipples, eliciting a groan. Clarke pushes her away, sitting up. 

“We should get dressed and talk.” Lexa sighs but nods. 

“Fine.” 

\- 

“Okay, so talk.” Lexa says when they’re dressing and sitting on Octavia’s bed (they felt adventurous that day). 

“Uh, I forgot about what.” 

“Ugh, okay. We need to find a new place to fuck if we don’t want anyone finding out, unless you want to stop.” She turns to Clarke expectantly. 

“Do I want to stop getting laid on a regular basis? No, hell no.” she pauses. “Do you?” 

“Fuck no. This is fun and we’re,” she shrugs “light and breeze, you know?” 

“Yeah, we _are_ light and breezy. We haven’t fought in days! We’re Nothing too serious, just sex.” 

“Yup, just sex.” 

“Okay, so where do we have sex?” 

“I’m going to sound insane but the library study rooms.” 

“Lexa!” 

“Hold on, hold on. They’re not only soundproof but we can rent them out for a specific time and there’s no windows.” Lexa shrugs one shoulder, peaking at Clarke from the corner of her eye. She feels a rush of heat to her core, picturing naked Clarke pleading and moaning for her while the students outside remain oblivious. 

“Well, when you put it that way…” Lexa does a victory dance in her head. “Also, it’s kinda hot that no one will know what we’re doing in there.” She admits a little quietly and Lexa has to physically stop herself from kissing Clarke. 

“Fuck.” She says instead, shaking her head a little. “What time is it?” 

“Ten till six, why?” 

“One more time for old times’ sake?” Lexa asks and Clarke smiles, already ripping her shirt off. 

\- 

Lexa opens her eyes, groaning when her head bumps into something hard, only to discover it’s a sketchbook. She had passed out after that second time with Clarke and now she awoke, alone in Octavia’s bed. She stretches out before she grabs the sketchbook, yawning. She opens it and almost gasps at the beauty of the image. 

It’s a drawing of a small child dancing in the rain, the rain splattering their skin, their face the epitome of joy. Lexa can feel the water droplets, she can smell the rain, and she could feel the child’s joy. 

Suddenly, the notebook is ripped from her hands and she looks up to an angry Clarke. 

“That’s private.” 

“It was there when I woke up, Clarke. Chill.” She rolls her eyes and lays on her back again, watching as Clarke tosses the notebook into a drawer. 

“Still private, Lexa.” 

“Whatever. Did you draw that?” she asks and Clarke nods nervously. “It’s beautiful.” 

“I know.” She replies with a shrug and a smirk. 

“You’re so modest.” Lexa replies sarcastically. “Why are you doing pre-med? You should be like a hotshot artist or something.” 

“Because pre-med is what I’m supposed to do.” 

“No. You’re supposed to be doing _that_ , not being some lame doctor. You have a talent, Clarke; you should take advantage. The only talent I have is I can hold my breath for three minutes underwater.” 

“We all have things we’re good at but it doesn’t mean we should do them professionally.” Lexa rolls her eyes. 

“Do you even like pre-med?” 

“I like it enough.” Clarke offers, not meeting her eyes. 

“Whatever. I’m just saying you should be selling your paintings in Paris, being a bad ass millionaire and getting a ton of pussy at the same time.” 

“But what would you do without me?” Clarke teases, trying to diverge the attention. 

“I’d be one of your concubines, obviously.” 

“Damn right, you would.” 

“Don’t get too cocky, Picasso.” Clarke rolls her eyes at the nickname but stays quiet. Lexa hesitates for a moment, hoping to not push any boundaries. “Have you drawn me?” Clarke stills and the look in her eyes is answer enough. 

Lexa’s heart is doing something funny in her chest and she clears her throat to stop it. 

“Can I see?” she asks hoarsely. The air in the room is quiet and still as Clarke raises her eyes to Lexa’s. 

Clarke wordlessly opens the drawer, swallowing as the turns to a dog-eared page. She walks slowly to the bed and Lexa feels her heart seizing up. Clarke hands the notebook to her, making sure their hands aren’t touching. 

She gasps aloud at the image. She’s sleeping on her side, her folded arm being used as a pillow. Her jaw is slack, her bare breasts on display. 

Lexa has never felt more beautiful. 

“You drew this right now.” She says, not asking but as a realization. 

“Yeah.” 

“It’s not the first time you’ve drawn me.” Lexa says again, not a question again. Clarke says nothing, and sits next to Lexa, her eyes on Lexa’s face. Lexa turns from the image to Clarke, swallowing dryly. “It’s very beautiful.” 

“It’s you.” Is all Clarke says and Lexa nearly chokes at the sweet note in her voice, it’s like hot honey being poured down her throat. 

“May I have it?” 

“Yeah.” Clarke takes the notebook from her and Lexa watches as she rips it from the notebook. 

“Thanks.” It quiet for a few seconds as they look at one another, neither of them saying anything. Soon enough, Lexa feels the silence choking her like a silent cloak and she clears her throat, breaking the trance. “I should get dressed and leave before Octavia gets back. 

“Yeah.” Clarke says again. She watches as Lexa dresses quickly, not saying anything, just observing. Lexa wonders if she’s gonna draw it later, the excitement striking like lighting. 

“I’ll call you.” Lexa says, Clarke nods in goodbye. Lexa walks to her room in a trance, her mind still reeling. She showers and gets ready for bed in a haze. 

Finally, when she’s in bed is when she allows herself to breathe. She grabs the picture from her desk and stares at it, wondering what it means. What it all means. 

On the same floor, in a different room, a blonde sketches her tenth image in a row, wondering the same thing. 

\- 

“Oh! Oh shit!” Clarke groans. She was currently straddling Lexa as she was riding her fingers in the library study room. It was as hot as they imagined and now every time Lexa passed by the library, she instantly felt wet. Things were a little awkward after the whole picture thing but it was nothing that a little drunken sex didn’t fix. 

Lexa was glad it was over, she was starting to feel a little intoxicated by it all. She didn’t dare think about what that entailed. 

Clarke breathes heavily into Lexa’s neck as she continues to buck her hips, whimpering when Lexa reaches a spot in her she loved so much. 

“People can hear you, Clarke. You need to be quiet.” Lexa says, kissing under her ear. 

“Oh, my god.” Clarke whimpers, her hips still bucking into Lexa’s fingers. She arches her back when Lexa adds a third finger, and Lexa attacks her breast with her mouth, sucking on the rosy pink nipple. She loved the cute way that Clarke scrunched her nose whenever she did it. 

Clarke’s hand held her against her breast, whimpering and shivering as she continued to ride her fingers. 

Suddenly, Clarke starts to come, clenching around her fingers. Clarke hunches over her neck, releasing Lexa and breathing heavily. 

“That was probably the best one.” She says against Lexa’s neck and Lexa lightly strokes her back. Suddenly, she jerks up, getting off of Lexa. “Shit, I have a lunch date with my mom.” 

She puts her top back on, much to Lexa’s chagrin. 

“Wait, Clarke-“ 

“I know, I know. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” She pleads, running her fingers through her hair and grabbing her backpack. She leans in and kisses Lexa slowly, making Lexa grab her hips tightly, trying to drag her back to her lap. “I can’t. I’m already gonna be like fifteen minutes late.” 

“Fine.” Lexa retorts, trying not to look like a child. 

“I’ll send you pictures.” She whispers lowly in Lexa’s ear, making her shiver and whimper excitedly. 

“Of what?” Lexa asks hoarsely, her fingers digging into Clarke’s hips. 

“Whatever you want.” She says seductively, grabbing Lexa’s hand and pressing it to her breast. Lexa groans and squeezes it once. She damns Clarke for knowing her kryptonite. 

“You better own up to it.” Lexa mumbles as she kisses the tops of her breasts. 

“I promise.” Clarke promises, standing and straightening her skirt out. “How do I look?” 

“Like you just got fucked in the library study room.” 

“Perfect. That’s what I was going for.” Clarke says, grinning. She leans in and kisses her once, slowly. When she pulls away she’s smiling, Lexa’s lips quirk upwards as well. “I’ll send you the pics, okay? Bye.” 

Lexa wonders when they’ve started to kiss goodbye, not that she minds or is complaining about it. 

\- 

“Hello?” Lexa says blaringly, cursing whoever dared to awake her at three in the goddamn morning. 

“Lexa.” Clarke says, choking back a sob and Lexa awakes at once, sitting up. 

“Clarke! Are you okay?” 

“Can you come pick me up?” she asks her voice wavering. 

“Where are you?” 

“Uh, on the gas station on Elm. I was walking back to school but-“ 

“Why the fuck are you walking to school this late and from _where_?” Lexa asks, shucking her flats on. Anya stirs from her side of the dorm and Lexa stills, relaxing when Anya lets out a loud snore. Clarke lets out a sob on the other line and Lexa curses herself. “Fuck, sorry, sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault.” Clarke says, sniffling. Lexa grabs her keys, locking up after her. 

“Are you hurt? Did anyone touch you?” 

“No.” another sniffle. Lexa lets out a sigh of relief, she doesn’t know what she’d do if even a hair was damaged in Clarke’s head. 

“Good, good. I’ll be there soon. Do you want to stay on the line with me?” 

“Uhm, I didn’t have any money on me. I had to ask for a coin and I only have thirty seconds left of this call.” 

“Shit, Clarke. What happened to your phone?” she unlocks her car and gets in, turning it on quickly. 

“Uhm, in my mom’s house.” Clarke says quietly and Lexa remembers her lunch date with her mom. 

“I’m guessing lunch didn’t go as planned?” Clarke lets out a sob at that. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll be there soon, okay?” 

“Okay.” Clarke says quietly, sniffling again. 

\- 

“We watched a Shakespeare documentary in Lit class today, such a shame you had to miss it.” Lexa offers as they drive back to the dorms. Clarke hasn’t spoken since she picked her up and Lexa is starting to worry terribly. “We all know that you love him so much.” Clarke offers nothing at that but a glance from the corner of her eye. Lexa tries again. “Anya got a new laptop and she has no idea how to use it so she’s punched it so hard that she broke it.” 

Once again, she’s greeted with silence. 

“I’m assuming it hit her back.” Clarke says, her voice is croaky and hoarse. 

“She has the black eye to prove it.” Lexa replies and Clarke turns, offering her a small smile. Lexa smiles back. She’s glad that she’s able to put a smile on her face, no matter how miniscule it is. 

They’re quiet when they arrive to the dorms, they only dare to speak when they’re standing outside of Clarke’s room. 

“Do you want to come in?” she asks Lexa. 

“What about Octavia?” 

“She’s at Lincoln’s.” Lexa nods and Clarke opens the door. They walk in quiet and Clarke sits on her own bed, still looking as glum as when Lexa found her. Lexa stands by Octavia’s bed and watches her, the worry eating her up from the inside. 

“Comere.” She murmurs, grabbing Clarke’s hand and dragging her to Octavia’s bed. Clarke follows and the two girls lay on their backs. Lexa grabs Clarke and rolls her to her chest. One hand holds her close and the other caresses her face. “You can tell me.” a part of her is whispering that this is not normal behavior for fuckbuddies and that she hates Clarke but she shuts it up. 

“I’m changing majors.” 

“What?” 

“To art. I mean, it’s what I want to do.” 

“And what you should.” Lexa offers quietly. 

“I told my mom and she didn’t take it too well. She wants me to become a doctor but i-“she stops. “My dad died three years ago and he always loved my art, he told me I should pursue it as a career but-“she stops again. 

“He sounds like he was a wise man.” 

“I hadn’t drawn since he died.” She admits quietly. “That’s why I agreed about pre-med, because my muse was gone but now I think my muse is ba-“ she pauses again. “Now it won’t stop coming out of me. I draw on everything and paint instead of doing my biology homework. I’m going to fail two classes because of it and I don’t even care because I’m just so-“ 

“Happy.” 

“Yeah.” It’s quiet for a few beats. “I’m sorry for waking you up so early, I just had nobody to call.” 

“It’s okay. I was hanging with Anya earlier and I wasn’t able to utilize those pictures you sent me.” Clarke snorts. 

“Of course. You _would_ make a masturbation joke.” 

“Oh, I wasn’t joking. I was two fingers deep into myself.” 

“Oh, my god.” Clarke gasps against her neck, smiling. They lay there contently and Lexa felt her eyes drooping. “You could return to your dorm, if you want. I’m fine, now.” Lexa hesitates. 

“This may be stepping over a line but-“she sighs softly, finding the confidence within her, “would you mind if I stay here tonight?” Clarke stays quiet and Lexa curses herself for being so brash. 

“We seem to be stepping over so many today, huh?” she says instead. She sits up and peels off her shirt and pants, Lexa stands and watches. She peels back the covers and lays down, patting the side next to her. Lexa sheds her clothes and lays next to her. 

Their bodies curve toward one another and Lexa is almost asleep that she almost misses Clarke’s whispered, “He would’ve loved you.” 

She startles awake and doesn’t sleep, replaying Clarke’s words until that’s all she hears, like a catchy song from the radio. 

She’s gone when Clarke wakes up. 

\- 

“What are you doing here?” Clarke asks to Lexa as she stands outside her dorm door. 

“I was bored.” She offers an explanation, not admitting that she was worried about how she was doing after last night. Not to mention, she still replayed Clarke’s last words to her. She stepped around Clarke, walking in and making the room hers. 

“I’m fine, Lexa. If that’s what you’re wondering. My mom’s coming over later and we’re gonna talk.” 

“I wasn’t worried about you, okay? You aren’t that important.” She says, sitting on Clarke’s bed and rolling her eyes. 

“Whatever. You should go before my mom gets here and freaks the fuck out.” 

“Aw and miss all the fun?” 

“Lexa.” Clarke warns. 

“Fine, fine. I’ll leave. Sheesh!” she rolls her eyes dramatically as she stands. Suddenly, somebody knocks on the door. The two girls turn to each other, Clarke with panic and Lexa with amusement. “Still want me to leave?” 

Clarke doesn’t get to answer before her mom opens the door on her own, eyes widening as she takes in Clarke and Lexa. 

“Oh, hello? Who might this be, Clarke?” Lexa’s first thought about Clarke’s mom is ‘too much perfume’. 

“I’m Lexa and I’m leaving.” She says, smiling in goodbye. Clarke’s eyes follow her in panic. 

“Okay, goodbye.” Abby says and then much lower she says, “I thought you were over that phase, Clarke.” and Lexa feels her blood boiling. 

Why respect boundaries when you can push and annoy homophobic parents. 

“As a matter of fact, I best stay.” Lexa sighs dramatically, leaping and laying on Octavia’s bed. She raises an eyebrow at Abby’s annoyed look. 

“With all due respect-Lexa, was it?” 

“Well, only my friends call me Lexa. So, will you please call me Alexandria.” 

“Alexandria,” Abby says forcefully, Lexa swears she’s gonna pop a vein. “This is a conversation between my daughter and me.” 

“With all due respect-Griffin, was it?” Abby nods. “Mm, Shouldn’t we let Clarke decide?” she turns to Clarke and raises an eyebrow. “Do you want me to leave Clarke?” 

“Oh, god no.” Clarke replies and Lexa swears that smoke begins to come out of Abby’s ears. 

“Clarke, this is between you and me.” 

“Mrs. Griffin, think of me as a mediator of sorts.” Lexa says and Clarke almost giggles. 

“You’re the one who told her to change majors, weren’t you?” 

“It’s Clarke’s life.” 

“And my money” 

“And most importantly, her happiness.” Lexa adds. 

“How old are you, Lexa?” 

“Tsk. Alexandria, and I’m 21 years young.” 

“Clarke’s only eighteen. Do you usually prey on unsuspecting freshmen?” 

“You should ask your daughter, ma’am. She’s the one who locked and attacked me in a bathroom.” Abby turns to Clarke harshly and Clarke bites her lip to keep the giggles at bay. 

“I will not stand here and be mocked.” She glares at the two girls, huffing and beginning to walk away. 

“Mom, hold on.” Clarke grabs her arm to stop her from leaving. “Wait, she was just joking.” 

“Clarke, we will speak later, without other people present. You forgot your telephone last night, here you go.” She hands her the cellphone and looks at Lexa once more. “I will call you, Clarke.” she huffs and leaves. 

Clarke starts to giggle when she’s gone. She tosses the phone on the bed and jumps on top of Lexa, straddling her. 

“Who stuck a stick up your moms butt?” 

“That was awesome!” 

“I didn’t have any parents that I could hassle growing up, only my hard ass aunt Indra, so it’s always fun to stress out other people’s parents.” 

“You deserve everything for that.” Clarke whispers, laying kisses from her jaw down to her collarbone. Lexa moans. She pulls Lexa’s shirt off and kisses to the top of her underwear from her chest. Clarke’s phone vibrates next to Lexa and Lexa grabs it, reading the message quickly as Clarke tries to unbutton her jeans. 

“Niylah?” she says in surprise. Clarke leaps, grabbing the phone from Lexa’s hand, nearly breaking her hand in the process. She stands awkwardly, avoiding looking at Lexa. Lexa sits up, all thoughts of sex forgotten. “Why is she texting about coffee?” Clarke says nothing. “Come on, Clarke.” 

“She asked me out.” She says and Lexa says nothing, feeling she was punched in the gut. “I said no but now she won’t stop and I-“she stops and the two girls stay quiet. 

“Why did you say no?” Clarke doesn’t say anything. “Clarke.” Lexa says, exasperated; her heart beats quick and heavy in her chest and she has no idea what to do. 

“I don’t know, okay? She’s not my type? Whatever.” she tosses her phone on her bed and sits next to Lexa, kissing her cheek. Lexa pulls away, stiff. 

“Because of me?” once again Clarke stays quiet. “We’re fuckbuddies, Clarke.” 

“Don’t you think I know that? Jesus, the world does not revolve around you, okay?” she fake laughs. 

“Then why did you tell her no?” 

“Because I didn’t want to? Jesus, Lexa. It’s not a big deal!” she scoffs and rolls her eyes. Lexa doesn’t speak, still stewing in her thoughts. She feels her stomach churning and butterflies threatening to come out of her throat. 

“I should go.” 

“Because Niylah asked me out? Jesus, Lexa. It’s not it the first time.” Lexa turns to her quick and wide eyed. Clarke closes her eyes as soon as she says it. 

“Who else?” 

“Nia and Harper.” Clarke admits quietly. 

“Oh.” 

“It was like two weeks ago, okay? And I told them no.” 

“I don’t care. You’re free to do as you wish.” Lexa says, not meeting Clarke’s eyes. 

“Look at me, _please_ ” Clarke grabs Lexa’s head with her two hands, directing it towards her. They eyes meet, Lexa stays stoic and Clarke is wide eyed and full of emotion. “Please.” 

“Let me go, Clarke. I need to leave, okay?” Clarke lets her go, slouching with defeat. “I’ll speak to you later, okay?” Lexa says over her shoulder, Clarke says nothing and Lexa hesitates before leaving. 

She gets to her room in a haze and lays on her bed, shoes and jacket still on. That’s how Anya finds her hours later. 

“Hey, are you okay?” she asks as she tosses her backpack on her bed. 

“It was Clarke.” Lexa says. 

“What?” 

“It was Clarke, I was fucking Clarke.” Anya sits next to Lexa, rubbing her back lightly, like how she used to do it when they were kids. 

“I know.” 

“How?” 

“She left her bra here once and I know that it was not yours because it was like four sizes too big.” 

“My boobs are not that small.” Lexa mumbles. 

“Hers are just too big.” It’s quiet for a beat. “What happened?” 

“Niylah.” 

“The Merchant kid? What she do?” 

“Clarke deserves her.” 

“What?” 

“She asked Clarke out.” Lexa closes her eyes as she says it, heart hurting in her chest. 

“Oh, shit! And?” 

“’And’ what?” 

“What are you going to do about it?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Nothing?” Anya scoffs and punches her leg lightly. “You’re shitting me. Someone tries to take your woman and you’re going to do nothing about it?” 

“Clarke is not my woman.” 

“And now she never will be because you’re just too much of a punk!” Anya punches her leg again, this time harder, and Lexa glares at her. “You know I’m right, you fucking idiot. You fucking like her.” 

Lexa stays quiet, going over everything. 

Here’s the thing: she didn’t hate Clarke as much as she did before and she wondered if part was because she was awesome naked. Another part of her knows it has nothing to do with her awesome tongue (and tits). 

Here’s the other thing: she’s scared as shit as to what this means. 

Lexa doesn’t do relationships. Not since the Great Costia War of 2013, in which, her ex dumped her for her best friend Ontari. She closed herself off and has since then only fucked, not dated. Even the word love makes her want to break out in hives. 

Here’s the last thing: this is strangely starting to feel like a relationship. Or it used to. 

“You see?” Anya says, noticing the internal turmoil in Lexa’s head. 

“No, I don’t. Clarke deserves Niylah. She’s funny and cute.” 

“Is she a weird Shakespeare addict? No.” 

“I can’t, okay?” Anya doesn’t reply and just sighs instead. “Clarke deserves better.” 

“And so do you, Lexa. I just hope you realize it before it’s too late.” She pats her on the head once before leaving and Lexa stares at the wall. 

\- 

“What the fuck, Lexa? I was waiting for you at the restroom like an idiot!” Clarke steps into her room and Lexa looks at her in surprise. 

“Clarke, what are you doing here?” 

“Oh, I don’t know. Confronting you? At least that’s what Wells said I should do whenever someone pisses me the fuck off. Whatever. The deal is that you left me waiting for over fifteen minutes.” Lexa sighs and closes the door to her dorm. 

“Look, Clarke-“ 

“Don’t. Its fine, you don’t have to apologize. I forgive you. Do you just want to bang here instead?” She asks, peeling off her scarf and tossing it on Lexa’s bed. 

“No. that’s the thing.” Lexa steps closer to her and Clarke stares at her with wide eyes. She notices the look on Lexa’s face and the distance starts to make sense, as does the coldness in her eyes. 

“Oh.” She blinks quickly and Lexa looks away at the raw pain in her eyes. “Cool, cool.” 

“I’m sorr-“ 

“It’s fine.” She smiles a smile like a crumbing bridge. “Um, I’m gonna go.” She walks towards the door, making sure to not touch Lexa as she leaves. Her eyes don’t meet the green ones calling her out, instead she looks at the cherry red door. 

“Clarke, I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” Clarke asks, hand hovering over the door knob. 

“For everything. I-“she hesitates. “I just- I can’t.” she whispers the last part and Clarke closes her eyes, feeling the tears brimming at the core. 

“Whatever. It was just sex, right? It’s not a big deal. I can find someone else to bang; I think Mr. Titus is single.” The joke falls flat and she clears her throat awkwardly. “Just kidding. He’s like fifty.” It quiet for a beat and Lexa aches to turn and face Clarke. 

“Yeah.” She says instead and stares at Anya’s squeaky chair. Clarke clears her throat again, opening the door. “Clarke?” Lexa calls before she leaves. 

“Yeah?” she asks hoarsely. 

“You should go out with Niylah, to like a museum or whatever. You can draw her, too.” Clarke says nothing for a second. Lexa would think she was gone if it was not for her shallow breaths. 

“I don’t want to draw anybody else, I want to draw _you_.” She says quietly and then she’s gone. The door closes after her with a click and Lexa sinks to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. 

She notices Clarke’s scarf on her bed and grabs it; eager to look for her and get a few more seconds of her time. Instead she just sits on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's like two am over here but i said saturday so here it is.(even tho it's technically sunday) but i hope u enjoyed let me know in the comments.


	3. How It Came Together Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get weird then good

It hurts the first time she sees her with Niylah, of course it does, but she’s surprised at the intensity of the burn. They’re sitting together at the quad, coffee in their hands and Lexa turns the other way. She skips her law class and rereads Romeo and Juliet for the 75th time. 

She can’t help herself from wondering if they wrote a play about her and Clarke who would be Romeo or Juliet. She tosses the book across the room in anger. She’s not Romeo, Clarke is not Juliet. 

She and Clarke are not some tragic love story, they’re nothing but Lexa and Clarke, ex-fuckbuddies and she’s got to get over it. 

She covers her head with the covers and groans, her mind reels, still thinking and wondering. 

She decides that she’d play the creepy handmaiden that’s obsessed with Juliet. She wonders if they’re arduous relationship would exist then and she decides that no, because Juliet belongs with Romeo or even Paris, not to some poor sap of a girl with disposable love. 

They would not exist in Romeo in Juliet, or in any other Shakespeare world because real life is messier than a story that ends in a double suicide. 

\- 

She doesn’t see Clarke in lit class for three days and she thinks she’s dropped it. Except, she shows up late one day, wet hair and apologetic eyes. Lexa freezes because _oh_ she recognizes that look. 

She swallows down her jealousy and tries not to stare holes into her back, tries not to notice the not so subtle hickey on the side of her neck. 

Clarke’s the first one gone and Lexa sits until every single person is gone, legs gone to jelly. She walks slowly back to her room and waits, she doesn’t know for what. Things aren’t the same without Clarke, and it’s not just the sex, it’s everything. 

It’s not having anything to look forward to after class, it’s not having anyone to lay next to her, it’s not being excited about anything because everything is back to being boring and mundane. She doesn’t even get to fight with Clarke about stupid things anymore because she just doesn’t speak to her anymore. 

She knows it’s for the best, they would only end up in a fiery wreckage if they’d gotten together. 

She remembers the way she broke down after Costia, the things she said to her in anger and she figures that Clarke deserves better than that. Clarke deserves the world, the moon, and the stars. Lexa can barely give her a piece of cloud, something that would slip right through her fingers. Her love is disposable, as is she, and she knows that Clarke is not. 

\- 

“Okay, you need to get out of this weird, depressing funk.” 

“I’m not in a funk. I just don’t have classes today.” Lexa mutters from under the covers. 

“You haven’t left in two days.” 

“Actually-“ 

“Going to the shower doesn’t count.” Lexa says nothing and Anya sits on the bed, sighing softly. “Look, little monkey-“ 

“Stop calling me that.” 

“Whatever. You messed up, okay? Just own up to it and talk to her, tell her you want to be official and make a ton of annoying blonde babies with her.” 

“I don’t want that and I didn’t mess up.” 

“Yes, you did and you have to admit that.” with that Lexa removes the covers from her head and glares at Anya. 

“I didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“Nothing at all? 

“No.” 

“Okay, so you didn’t break some poor girl’s heart because you couldn’t get over yourself?” 

“I didn’t break her heart.” she mumbles. 

“You lost her, you got to admit it and it hurts. I get it, okay? I almost lost Raven when-“ 

“The world doesn’t revolve around you and Raven.” Lexa says harshly. 

“Neither does it with you and Clarke but yet here you are, acting like the world has ended for a pair of nice tits and blonde hair.” 

“Stop.” she growls. 

“It’s the truth.” Anya shakes her head angrily. “Don’t take out your anger on me, I’m just trying to help, Lexa.” she looks at Lexa expectantly, who ignores her look and instead clenches her jaw angrily. She scoffs disbelievingly and rolls her eyes. 

“She wasn’t mine to lose.” Lexa mumbles quietly, startling Anya. 

“She didn’t have to be yours in order for you to lose her.” Anya replies, she pats Lexa’s head once before standing and leaving. Lexa groans and covers her head with the covers again. 

\- 

“I saw Lexa today.” Wells says and Clarke freezes, she desists writing in her notebook and swallows dryly. 

“And?” 

“Clarke, don’t do this.” Wells says, sighing. “She looks like shit.” 

“And it’s my fault? I didn’t do anything.” 

“Clarke, I know about you two. I know that you were sleeping together and you got feelings for her.” 

“She didn’t for me.” is all she says again. 

“All I know is that she does not look so well.” 

“It’s her own damn fault.” Clarke grumbles and Wells sighs. “What do you want me to do, Wells? She didn’t want me, she made it abundantly clear.” 

“Honestly? I think she was scared by her feelings for you, Clarke.” 

“She doesn’t have any.” 

“Clarke.” 

“Whatever.” 

“I’m just saying that perhaps you should slow down things with Niylah, it’s a little too soon don’t you think?” 

“Too soon? We were just fuck buddies, Wells and she’s the one who told me to move on.” She adds, her pencils snaps from the grip of her hands. Wells puts a sympathetic hand on Clarke’s shoulder. 

“Tell me, do you feel for Niylah what you felt for Lexa?” Clarke says nothing. “Don’t hurt Niylah in the process of finding your own happiness, Clarke.” 

“I don’t know how I did it before her. It’s like I was sleeping before I met her and now I’m awake. Now that she’s gone, the colors are too vivid, too scary and she’s not here to hold my hand again.” Clarke’s gaze remains on her homework, even though her eyes are hazy and unfocused. 

“ _Clarke_ -“the pain in Clarke’s voice scares Wells and he aches to fix it. 

“Hey, Wells, Clarke.” Niylah says in greeting, dropping her backpack on the floor ad sitting next to them. She pecks Clarke on the cheek and opens her laptop. “What are you talking about?” 

“Nobody important.” Clarke says and she smiles, grabbing a new pencil from her pack. “How was your English class?” 

\- 

“Lexa.” Lexa turns and raises her eyebrow at Wells. She stops in the library aisle, book in hand. 

“Wells.” 

“How are you?” 

“Well, Wells.” She laughs dryly and she clears her throat when it goes flat. 

“Never heard that one before.” He smiles and Lexa tries to smile back. She fails. 

“What do you want from me?” she’s had enough of niceties and all she wants to do is go to her dorm, read the book in her hand and sleep. 

“Listen, I-“he sighs and shakes his head a little. “I just wanted to see how you’re doing.” 

“I’m good.” She shrugs. 

“Are you sure?” 

“She told you.” Lexa says, not daring to say her name. 

“She didn’t have to. I know her better than she knows herself and I know that she is hurt.” 

“Is she?” Lexa finds herself hoarsely asking. “Sure doesn’t seem that way.” She adds bitterly. 

“Lexa-“ 

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” She sighs. “I can’t blame her, I pushed her away.” 

“It doesn’t have to be that way, it’s not too late, Lexa.” Lexa eyes him apprehensively. “Talk to her, please.” Lexa swallows dryly at the pleading tone in his voice. 

“Okay.” 

“Lincoln’s party is this Friday.” 

“Okay.” She says again, Wells turns then stops. He looks at Lexa over his shoulder. 

“I wish you two the best, I really do.” Lexa says nothing and watches him walk away. 

\- 

“Where are you going?” Anya asks as she watches Lexa change. 

“To Lincoln’s.” 

“Lincoln’s? What the fuck?” 

“What, Anya?” Lexa sighs dramatically. “I can’t go out now?” 

“You know that she’ll be there, right?” 

“I know.” She sighs at Anya’s dubious look. 

“All I’m saying it that you’re playing a dangerous game, Lexa. She’s gonna be there with _her_.” 

“And? Are there no other pretty girls in the party?” she brushes her hair and braids it back. Anya watches her and sighs. “Don’t wait up.” She says as she leaves. 

\- 

Lexa finds Clarke almost immediately. She’s standing by the edge of the room with Wells and Niylah, she’s smiling at something Niylah is saying and Lexa feels a smile bloom in her face as well. She grabs a cup of something red and strong, eyes still on Clarke. She feels a bit creepy staring from afar and not speaking to nobody. 

She goes to the empty kitchen, trying to remember what she was going to be saying to Clarke. She’s so deep into her thoughts that she doesn’t notice someone walking into the kitchen. 

“Lexa.” 

“Clarke.” Lexa steps closer, saying her name for the first time in so long. Clarke eyes her with pain filled eyes. 

“What are you doing here?” she asks, looking over her shoulder, trying to see if anybody has walked in. 

“Drinking.” She tosses the rest of her drink into her mouth. She chucks the empty cup in the trash and walks close to Clarke. Clarke steps back, still wide eyed. “Can we talk?” 

“No.” 

“Clarke-“ 

“We can’t talk, we can’t.” she shakes her head, she swallows once and her eyes flutter close. “Not here.” She says, opening them and Lexa nods. 

“Okay, okay.” Lexa replies and grabs her arm, dragging her to the restroom from so many weeks ago. She locks the door after them and Clarke watches her. 

“So talk.” 

“I-I’m not the most eloquent” she sighs, trying to find the confidence in her. “But all you need to know I can say in three words. I want you.” 

“Now you want me?” she says, chuckling dryly. 

“Clarke-“ 

“You don’t get to-to decide you want me and then I’ll come running. I-I-“Lexa presses her lips against Clarke’s and Clarke stands there, not moving at all. She pulls away and kisses her again and again, her lips, her eyes, her cheeks, anything. 

Clarke does nothing. 

Lexa grabs her face tighter, mashing their lips closer together, hoping to elicit a response from Clarke. 

She does. 

Clarke pushes her away, fury dancing in her eyes. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” 

“I-“ 

“I’m with Niylah, Lexa.” Clarke replies, shaking her head. Lexa wraps her arms around herself, suddenly cold. Clarke stills, her face going blank for a moment before grief engulfs her face. “You don’t’ get to do that.” 

“I’m sorry.” Lexa whispers back, craving and wanting her, just her. 

“You don’t’ get to do that. You can’t-“Clarke whispers, bottom lip quavering. 

“I’m sorry.” Lexa says again, stepping closer towards her. Clarke steps back immediately and Lexa’s heart sinks to her feet. 

“Don’t. Just, don’t.” with that she opens the restroom door and leaves. Lexa stays standing in the restroom for a second, staring at the spot with Clarke occupied before. 

She stays in the restroom for a few seconds before leaving. She drinks three more drinks, making everything a little blurry. She finds a pretty girl making eyes at her from across the room and she walks over to her. They dance for a few minutes before the girl presses her lips against Lexa’s. 

Lexa, who still tastes the sweetness from Clarke’s lips, pulls back from the salt in the other girls. She closes her eyes before kissing the other girl back. 

“What’s your name?” the girl asks in her ear. 

“Lexa.” 

“Do you want to know mine?” 

“I don’t care, I really don’t care.” Lexa replies, kissing her again. 

“Let’s go to my apartment.” The girl whispers in her ear and Lexa nods. They leave hand in hand and Lexa misses the way that Clarke’s eyes follow her from across the room. 

She fucks the girl with her mouth, making her come fast and hard. She doesn’t know the girl’s name and she doesn’t ask, instead she kisses her. The girl unbuttons her pants and tries to reach inside of Lexa’s panties but Lexa bats her away, rolling off of the girl. 

“It’s fine. It’s fine.” She says, giving her back to the girl. 

“Are you sure? I can make you feel good.” The girl kisses her under her ear and Lexa shies away. 

“I don’t need to, I’m okay.” Because she is, she doesn’t feel the simmering heat that she did with Clarke. Even from that one sided kiss from the restroom turned her on more than the naked girl next to her. The girl’s voice is too high-pitched, it’s not a gravely, breathy tone and everything feels wrong, making Lexa uneasy. 

The girl sighs but relents. 

“Make sure you’re gone before morning, my girlfriend arrives early.” Lexa says nothing and the girl falls asleep. She finds her shoes and her shirt and puts them on, leaving the girl’s apartment. 

She walks back to her dorm, leaving her car at Lincoln’s. The cold night air clears her head and she sighs at the intensity of all. She finds Anya still waiting up for her. She sees the disheveled shirt, the smeared eyeliner and she sighs. 

“Did that make you feel any better?” 

“No.” she gets into her bed, shoes still on and Anya lays next to her, rubbing her back. 

\- 

She runs into Clarke’s mom a few weeks later. She’s walking back to her dorm, tired from her karate class the night before. 

“Lexa.” Abby says in greeting, crossing her arms. Lexa stills, sighing indignantly and rolling her eyes. 

“Yeah?” 

“Have you seen my daughter?” 

“No.” Lexa replies and walks around her, Abby grabs her arm. 

“You’re not dating her anymore, are you?” 

“I was never dating her.” She says, tearing her arm from Abby’s grip. 

“She’s dating that blonde girl, now.” 

“Niylah.” Lexa nearly growls. 

“You don’t like her.” 

“I have no opinion on her.” Abby says nothing, just watching the guarded look in Lexa’s eyes. 

“Seems like you have plenty.” Lexa says nothing. “She convinced Clarke to stay as pre-med so I already like her more than you.” 

“Clarke’s doing pre-med again?” Lexa asks, ignoring the jab. 

“Yes, she’s chosen the right one. Don’t you agree?” 

“No, I don’t. Clarke needs to draw, she needs to- I don’t know.” Lexa sighs. “She needs to be happy and pre-med is not it.” 

“She also needs money to survive and art is not going to make her any.” 

“Her art will sell, it’s amazing.” Lexa shakes her head. “She drew me once and it was the most beautiful-“she stops and swallows uneasily. Abby says nothing, her gaze softens at the conflicted look in Lexa’s eyes. 

“Too many people fail in the art business.” She says softly. 

“She’ll never know if she doesn’t try.” It’s quiet for a beat. 

“You’re right about Clarke not being happy, she hasn’t been happy in a long while.” Lexa meets her eyes, wide and unapprehensive. “Ever since my husband died she hasn’t been the same. I thought that if I let her move out into the dorms she’d be happy and she was for a while, but now she’s back to the way she was before.” Lexa doesn’t reply. “I guess I have you to think for that, huh? You made her happy and then you tore her apart.” 

“I did nothing, I just-“ 

“I don’t know what changed between you both but,” Abby sighs. “Thank you for bringing my daughter back to me, if only for a little while.” 

“I did nothing.” She says again. 

“Everything you do elevates her, it makes her feel alive and I have you to thank for that. To me, that’s everything, so thank you” 

“Clarke’s special; she elevates herself.” Abby’s eyes dart around Lexa’s face and she nods slowly. 

“You’re not who I thought you were, Lexa.” 

“Art makes her happy, you should let her pursue it.” Lexa says after a pause. 

“You make her happy.” Abby sighs once. “If you see her, please let her know that I will be expecting her at the engagement dinner.” 

“You’re getting married.” Lexa states, just noticing the glittering rock on her finger. 

“Yes. To a man named Marcus Kane.” 

“Congratulations.” 

“Thank you. I hope to see you again, Lexa.” Lexa nods and watches as she leaves. 

\- 

“Raven and I are moving out and we want you to come with us.” Anya announces one day in their dorm. 

“Where?” Lexa asks, her heart thuds heavy in her chest. She doesn’t want to move out of the dorms. That’s the only place she sees Clarke, around the dorms as she leaves to class. Apart from her Lit class, which Clarke spends on her phone. 

“Fifteen minutes away to this really nice apartment. You’d have your own bathroom and everything.” 

“I don’t know. Why are we even moving out? The dorms are nice.” 

“Raven came out to her parents last week and they took it well so we decided that moving in together would be good for both of us.” Anya smiles happily and Lexa finds herself smiling back. 

“I’m happy for you, Anya.” 

“Thank you. I know it’s kinda soon for us to be moving in together and stuff.” She sighs. “That’s why I want you there. Plus, we both can’t cook for shit and you’re like the best mini chef.” Lexa sighs and smiles slightly. 

“I need to get a job first.” 

“Already covered. My friend from my Biology class works at a grocery store and she pulled some strings, you have a job interview in a week.” She winces apologetically at Lexa and Lexa rolls her eyes. 

“Okay.” 

“Good!” she sighs. “This is gonna be good for us, Lexa. I promise! I’ve got to go, Raven is waiting for me.” She leaves and Lexa lays back on her bed. 

She feels like the earth is spinning quickly and she feels a bit of nausea. Everybody is moving on and she still in the same place as before. She doesn’t know what to do with herself. 

\- 

“Do you want to come to dinner with us?” Anya asks her a few days later. 

“And be the third wheel? No, thank you.” Lexa turns back to her book, trying to study for finals. 

“Octavia and Lincoln will be there.” 

“And be the fifth wheel? No, thank you.” 

“Please? It’d make me happy.” 

“Oh, let me think about it again. Mm. No.” she snorts. 

“I’ll pay.” Anya raises her eyebrows and Lexa sighs, tossing her book to the floor. 

“Fine.” She opens her drawer and changes into her old black jeans. “But I’m doing this for the free food, not for you.” She slips her boots on, tearing off her shirt and buttoning up her flannel. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Anya rolls her eyes. 

Pretty soon, Raven, Lexa and Anya are stuffed into Anya’s car. 

“So, you’re not freaked out about Clarke and Niylah being at dinner tonight?” Raven asks in the car. Both sister turn to her, one with surprise and the other with panic. 

“Babe.” Anya says, gritting her teeth. 

“What?” she asks and then sighs. “Oh, shit. Lexa didn’t know.” 

“No, I did not.” Lexa growls. “Please let me out here.” 

“We’re already here.” Anya says, pulling into the parking spot. 

“Then let me stay here.” 

“No. you’re getting off and you’re eating the free food. “ Anya retorts. 

“Anya...” Lexa warns. 

“Anya’s right, Lexa. You need to face them one day or another.” 

“I never want to face them. “She crosses her arm, staring out the window stubbornly. 

“It’s like Beyoncé says, Lexa.” Raven begins, she clears her throat before continuing again. “If you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it.” 

“You’re so eloquent, babe.” Anya leans over and kisses her cheek once, the affection chokes Lexa’s throat and she turns back to the window. Anya turns towards Lexa. “If you don’t come then I will tell everyone the story of why I call you little monkey.” 

“Fine, I will go but I am not happy about it. “ Lexa glares at both girls and then steps out of the car. 

\- 

The table is awkwardly quiet as everyone tries to ignore the big elephant in the room. 

“Remember when we used to date, Lexa?” Lincoln blurts out, just wanting the silence to be over. 

“What? Lexa is so fucking gay.” Octavia adds, laughing. 

“I was her beard.” Lincoln adds smirking. 

“You knew you were my beard, you idiot.” Lexa replies. She makes her voice less harsh than she would normally say, eyes on Clarke’s face. She notices the smile peeking out and her heart bursts, she ignores Niylah's arm around her shoulder. 

“Did you two kiss?” Octavia asks. 

“Ugh, yes.” Lexa shudders and Clarke barely hides her smile. She smiles and her eyes meet Niylah’s hard stare. She doesn’t turn away and instead she looks back at Clarke, making eye contact and smiling again. Niylah’s arm around Clarke’s shoulder tightens. 

“Yeah, it totally sucked maybe because it was just for show.” Lincoln agreed. “We were like, 18, Lexa?” 

“17.” She replies distractedly. 

“I wonder if you’ve improved as a kisser now, you were such a mess back then.” 

“She has.” Clarke adds, eyes panicking as soon as the words leave her mouth. The whole table turns to her and Niylah’s jaw tightens, arm dropping from Clarke’s shoulder. 

Clarke swallows dryly, not meeting any eyes. Niylah stands angrily, and marches away from the table. Clarke rolls her eyes, excusing herself and following. 

Her eyes meet Lexa’s once before she’s gone. 

“Oh, shit.” Raven mutters. “Things are going to go down.” 

“Wait. You and Clarke?” Octavia asks. 

“I thought you knew.” Raven says, munching on the peanuts in the center of the table. 

“Uh no. What the fuck?” Octavia shakes her head before smiling. “No wonder. Wow.” 

“Sorry, Lex.” Lincoln cringes. 

“I’m not. That was cool.” Octavia clinks glasses with Anya, who shrugs. 

“I’ll drink to that.” Anya adds. 

“What if we’ve broken a relationship?” Lexa asks worriedly. 

“Hey, we didn’t say anything it was Clarke all by herself.” Raven adds. 

“Yeah, but-“Lexa sighs, turning over to where Niylah and Clarke stand, arguing lowly. 

“Isn’t that what you want?” Anya asks. 

“No, that’s not what I want at all.” she says, watching as Niylah walks away from Clarke, who looks after her with huge, sad eyes. “That’s definitely not what I want.” She stands. 

“Where the fuck are you going?” Anya asks, Lexa ignores her and begins to walk after Niylah. 

“I’m so glad you invited her, this is about to get good.” Raven grins and Lincoln cringes. 

“Niylah.” Lexa calls out and the other girl turns, her eyes cold and angry. 

“What do you want?” 

“I came to apologize.” 

“Apologize?” she scoffs. “Don’t you think I know what you’re doing?” 

“What? I’m not doing anything.” 

“You follow her everywhere with those big, sad eyes. You need to leave her the fuck alone, she’s mine now.” 

“Clarke belongs to no one.” Lexa says coldly, not defending her accusation. She knows that she stares after Clarke a lot and that’s not what angers her. What angers her is that Niylah thinks that she owns Clarke, when Clarke was free to make her own decisions. 

“No one but me. Just leave us alone, Lexa.” with that Niylah leaves the restaurant, leaving Lexa alone and regretful. 

“What did you tell her?” Clarke asks, suddenly appearing at her side. 

“I was going to apologize and she just totally turned me down.” Lexa sighs, and turns towards Clarke. She’s well aware of their friend’s eyes on them and at this moment she doesn’t care enough to be upset or annoyed. 

“You don’t have to apologize. You did nothing wrong.” Clarke says softly. “It was me and my big mouth.” 

“If I wouldn’t have come and you wouldn’t be in this mess.” 

“She’ll get over it.” Clarke says breezily, she eyes Lexa for a few moments before speaking. “We need to talk.” 

“I don’t that’s a good idea. The last time we tried to talk, I pissed you off.” Lexa shakes her head, trying to walk around Clarke. Clarke grabs her forearm, stopping her and burning her with her touch. 

“Just don’t kiss me this time and we’ll be fine.” Clarke says teasingly. Lexa smiles slightly and nods, letting Clarke lead her to a bench outside. They sit side to side, not too close but far enough that Lexa craves to reach over to her. Clarke sits quietly, looking thoughtful and Lexa has the strong urge to kiss her. 

“What did you want to talk about?” she asks instead. 

“About us, everything that transpired between us.” she pauses. “I’m just going to lay it out in the open, okay? It really hurt when you pushed me away. I just-“she shakes her head and Lexa’s mouth goes dry. “I liked you for a long time and when you did that, it broke me.” 

“Clarke,” Lexa begins softly, Clarke turns to her slowly, wide eyed. “If I could go back in time and change everything, I would. I would do anything in my power to make sure that I don’t hurt you, to make sure that you know how I much I care about you.” 

“Well, we can’t.” she sighs deeply once, closing her eyes briefly. “I’m dating Niylah now and what transpired between us is over. I used to have feelings for you but now I’m with someone else and you need to accept that.” 

“Used to?” Lexa asks, Clarke nods once. Lexa lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, closing her eyes in devastation. “Okay.” She says softly. 

“Friends?” Clarke asks and Lexa opens them. 

She decides that being friends with Clarke is better than no Clarke at all, no matter how much her broken heart beats in her chest. 

“Friends.” She replies and Clarke smiles. Lexa aches to find hers and she fails. Niylah appears and Clarke smiles at Lexa before she walks over to Niylah. They talk for a second and then they kiss in reconciliation. 

Anya comes out and wraps her arm around her shoulder. 

“Come on, your free food is getting cold.” She says and Lexa follows her inside, not turning back and not catching Clarke’s regretful eyes on her retreating figure. 

\- 

Being friends with Clarke is weird, Lexa realizes. It’s weird to hang out in the study room and not have sex in it, but actually study for finals. It’s weird when Clarke waves at her in the hallway or sits next to her during Lit class. But soon enough she gets used to it. 

What she doesn’t get used to is Niylah pressing her hand around Clarke’s waist or brushing her hair behind her ears for her. Her stomach still burns with jealousy, or maybe indigestion. 

_Friends_ , she tells herself, they’re friends and friends don’t feel this way for one another. 

One day, they sit in the same study room that they had sex in. 

“Feel kind of weird, huh?” Clarke says, raising her eyebrows. Lexa’s mouth goes dry as she remembers Clarke sitting on the very table they were at while Lexa stood in her knees in front of her. She remembers Clarke pulling her hair tightly and the way she mewled like a kitten. 

She shifts uncomfortably in her chair. It had been close to three months without sex and she was starting to feel the effects. 

“Yeah.” She opens her book and turns to it. After a second of quiet, she looks up and catches Clarke’s eyes on her. Clarke looks down immediately and Lexa almost misses the lustful look in her eyes. 

\- 

"Is this okay?" Clarke asks as she adjusts herself to the front of Lexa, her back curving to Lexa's front. They're lying side to side, watching some lame show on Netflix that Clarke loved but Lexa hated. Lexa nods slowly, unsure by their proximity. Clarke hesitates and backs up a little more, pressing her behind to Lexa's center. 

Lexa lets out a tiny gasp, heart thundering in her chest. She slowly brings her hand to Clarke's waist, pressing her closer to her. Clarke's own hand rests on top of Lexa's and Lexa thinks that perhaps Clarke is going to push her away but she just caresses Lexa's hand, linking their pinkies together. 

Lexa's mind goes hazy and she can't seem to focus on anything but the fast that she's spooning Clarke. She awkwardly rests her head on her other hand, gazing down as Clarke laughs at something on the show. She finds herself slowly smiling and Clarke looks at her from the corner of her before turning back to the laptop on the bed. Lexa gets more confident and presses herself closer to Clarke and Clarke's eyes widen but nothing else happens, her arm dropping to Clarke's stomach and holding her. 

She brushes Clarke's hair behind her ear and rests her head on the crook of her neck, her breath on Clarke's bare skin making her eyes flutter. 

The sound of Clarke's phone ringing bursts them apart and Clarke nearly leaps off the bed. Lexa sits up and watches as Clarke's picks her phone up from Lexa's desk, rolling her eyes and turning it off. Clarke returns to the bed, lying in her previous position and Lexa sits awkwardly next to her. Clarke turns to her with expectant eyes and Lexa rolls hers before resuming her previous position. This time, her hand goes under Clarke's shirt, holding her bare stomach, dangerously close to the edge of her bra. She rests her head on the crook of Clarke's neck, lips brushing against the soft skin there. Clarke's eyes flutter again, bringing a rush of heat to Lexa's center. 

"Who was it?" she finds herself asking, even though she already knows. 

"Nobody important." Clarke says in return and Lexa sighs into her neck. She wonders why Clarke is lying but she doesn't ask, instead she caresses Clarke's bare stomach. 

She knows that Niylah doesn't deserve this and she's playing with fire but the thing is, Lexa didn't mind if she got burned. 

\- 

They get coffee often and talk about their friends and their classes. Lexa tries not to notice how Clarke never brings Niylah up. 

One day, Clarke kisses her cheek, too close to her mouth. 

“You’ve got whipped cream there.” Clarke says pointing. Lexa rubs at it and smears it even more. Clarke smiles and leans in, kissing the whipped cream away. “It’s gone.” She says, suddenly finding the straw in her drink very fascinating. 

“Thanks.” Lexa says huskily, skin burning to where Clarke’s lips touched her. She thinks this is not normal friend behavior but Clarke and she have been anything but normal. 

\- 

“You’re playing a dangerous game, Clarke.” Octavia warns as she lays in her bed. 

“What? I’m not doing anything.” Clarke slides her shirt on and begins to brush her hair. 

“Really? You’re not going to her dorm right now?” 

“I am but we’re not going to do anything, we’re just going to watch The Office.” 

“Seriously? You’re literally going to Netflix and Chill. Clarke-“Octavia shakes her head, sighing. 

“Stop it. Lexa and I are friends.” Octavia stares at her for a few seconds, eyes darting over face, uncertainty in her eyes. 

“Don’t lead Lexa on, Clarke. If this is your way of getting some sort of weird revenge on her.” Octavia sighs, sitting up and walking over to a frozen Clarke, brush still in mid-motion. “She doesn’t deserve this, okay? If that’s what you’re doing.” 

“I’m not.” Clarke says hoarsely, turning towards her. “I meant what I said about being friends.” 

“Okay.” Octavia says, unconvinced. 

\- 

“Are you okay, Clarke?” Lexa asks as they lay on their stomachs on her bed. Clarke has been lost in her thoughts since her talk with Octavia and she can’t stop thinking about she said. “Clarke.” Lexa says again and Clarke finally retreats from her clouded mind. 

“Huh?” 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m just-“she shakes her head, Lexa rolls her eyes and smiles well naturedly. 

“Finals, huh? 

“Yes.” She fake chuckles and Lexa’s eyes narrow. “I should go. I promised Octavia that I would feed her fish.” 

“Octavia has a fish?” Lexa says slowly. 

“She just got one.” Clarke replies, not meeting her eyes. She sits up, as does Lexa, who keeps her eyes on her. Clarke grabs her purse and opens the dorm door, she looks over shoulder. “I’ll see you soon, okay?” Lexa nods and watches her leave silently. 

Clarke runs to Niylah’s room, her heart beating hard in her chest. She opens the door and attacks Niylah, who sits in her desk, studying. Niylah pushes her away in a hurry. 

“Woah, babe! What’s going on?” Niylah asks and Clarke shakes her head, bringing their lips together again. Niylah kisses her for a few seconds before pushing her away again. “I can’t. I have to study.” 

“Can’t you get distracted for a second?” Clarke says seductively, one hand dips into her shirt and Niylah grabs her hand and takes it out her shirt. 

“No.” Niylah shakes her head and Clarke stills, removing herself from Niylah. 

“Okay.” She says. “I’ll just hang out here.” 

“You’ll just distract me.” Clarke freezes, eyes not leaving Niylah’s face. Niylah raises her eyebrows and Clarke clears her throat, blinking rapidly. 

“Okay.” She nods quickly and clears her throat once before leaving. 

She walks to her dorm in a haze but instead finds herself in front of Lexa’s dorm. She pauses, trying to clear her head, trying to not do this, to not put Lexa through this but instead she knocks. 

“Clarke?” Lexa says as she opens the door. Her eyes are not angry but surprised. “What’s up?” 

“Uhm-“Clarke clears her throat. “You want to get lunch?” Lexa tilts her head to the side, watching her. 

“I thought you had to feed Octavia’s fish.” 

“I did. Uhm- it’s a small fish. It just needs a few flecks.” 

“Okay.” She says and Clarke lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “Let me get my wallet.” She turns, then stops and looks over her shoulder. “Does Niylah know?” 

“No.” Clarke shakes her head. “She’ll just overreact. We’re just two friends getting lunch and plus, it shouldn’t matter to her who I hang out with anyway.” 

“Yeah, we are.” Lexa replies, her voice a little breathy. Clarke tries not to stare at her ass as she leans over her desk. 

She fails. 

\- 

“What’s going on between you and Clarke?” Anya asks. The two of them are folding clothes and tossing it into boxes. With finals over, they had no reason to stay at the dorms. The dorms were already empty and their new apartment awaited, which Lexa like enough to work at a stuffy grocery store over the summer for. They both knew that their Aunt Indra could finance them, as she had been doing so far, but the two of them wanted to be, as Anya called it, “Independent bitches.” 

“Nothing. We’re friends.” 

“Friends? Does Niylah, Clarke’s girlfriend, know about your little coffee, pizza, dinner, Netflix dates?” 

“They’re not dates.” Lexa rolls her eyes and folds her leather jacket. 

“You didn’t answer my question.” 

“She doesn’t, okay? Clarke says it’s best if she doesn’t know. Niylah is very jealous.” 

“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, huh? Except it will hurt someone when Clarke goes back to her pretty blonde girlfriend during the summer and leaves a little monkey all on her lonesome.” 

“Ugh, stop it Anya.” She throws a jacket at her sister, glaring. 

“You still like her, huh?” Lexa doesn’t reply, tossing another sweater in her box. “You should tell her.” 

“We’re friends and friends don’t do that shit.” 

“You are not friends, Lexa. Friends don’t pine after one another for months! You’re just two idiots who enjoy torturing one another; you’re both so hopelessly into each other.” 

“She doesn’t feel the same anymore.” Lexa admits quietly. 

“Are you sure?” Anya asks, standing from her bed and walking over to Lexa, who stands next to her open clothing drawers. “Cause I see the way she looks at you.” 

“She doesn’t.” Lexa says softly. She pulls a shirt from the drawer, making a folded scarf fall with a thud. Anya picks it up, eyeing a frozen Lexa with apprehensive eyes. She realizes that a paper rests in the scarf and she pulls it out, opening it slowly. 

“Wow.” Anya says. “Usually I’d be more uneasy about seeing my sister’s tits on display but wow. She drew this?” 

“Yes.” Lexa says slowly. “It’s from before.” 

“And this scarf is hers?” Lexa nods, eyeing it sadly. “You should give it to her before she leaves for the summer, she might miss it.” 

“I’ll give it to her tomorrow.” Lexa grabs the scarf and the picture, stuffing them back into her drawer. 

“She leaves today, Lex. She told me herself.” Lexa stares into the drawer, deliberating. Anya’s gaze softens. “You should try, Lexa. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, okay?” she pauses and Lexa doesn’t meet her eyes. “Why not give it one more shot for old times’ sake?” Lexa turns towards Anya slowly and nods, grabbing the scarf and walking towards the door. 

“Thank you.” She calls over her shoulder. 

“You can properly thank me by putting all my clothes away.” Anya retorts and Lexa smiles. 

She walks over to Clarke’s room, heart clawing out of her chest. She stands outside, trying to find the confidence to knock, turns out she doesn’t have to because Clarke opens the door. 

“Lexa.” she says in surprise. “What are you doing here?” 

“I-Uhm” she shakes her head. “I’m here to give you your scarf.” She holds in dumbly in her hand. 

“You should have it.” Clarke grabs it from her hand and threads it around Lexa’s neck. “It matches your eyes.” They still, staring at another and Lexa slowly smiles. 

“Okay.” 

“Plus you’ll need something to remember me by.” 

“You’re not returning next semester?” 

“No.” Clarke looks away awkwardly. 

“What about Niylah?” 

“We broke up.” Clarke says simply and Lexa’s eyes widen. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“That’s. Bad to hear.” 

“She was cheating on me.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The girls stay quiet. Lexa doesn’t know what to do, what to say and she clears her throat awkwardly. 

“I should go, my mom is waiting for me.” she walks around Lexa, closing the door to her dorm and Lexa just stands there, still reeling. 

“What school are you going to?” she asks, turning and facing Clarke again. 

“I’m going to Arkadia.” 

“The art school.” Lexa smiles softly, happy for Clarke. 

“Yeah.” 

“Your mom agreed.” 

“More like you convinced her.” Clarke smiles back slowly and Lexa finds herself melting. 

“I’m happy for you.” 

“It’s all because of you.” Clarke says, something akin to adoration leaks into her voice and Lexa struggles to find her voice. 

“You deserve everything.” She says hoarsely, Clarke’s eyes dart around her face. 

“So do you.” She says slowly and her eyes fill with so much passion that Lexa’s heart starts to beat quickly in her chest. 

“Even you?” she asks, Clarke looks away. “I’m sorry.” Lexa says, walking closer to her, Clarke looks at her at that and her eyes are so wide and blue that Lexa swears she could get lost in them. 

“For?” 

“For hurting you, for pushing you away, for being so insecure that I didn’t notice what I had in front of me until it was gone.” she stops when she’s less than three feet away. “But the thing I’m most sorry about is not making you mine.” Clarke says nothing, still wide eyed and surprised. 

“I’m sorry, too.” Lexa looks confused for a second. “I lied to you. My heart belongs to you, it’s always belonged to you.” She whispers hoarsely, before pressing her lips against Lexa’s. She wraps her arms around Lexa’s neck as Lexa begins to kiss her passionately, arms constricting around her waist. Clarke presses her entire body against Lexa’s, until Lexa’s back hits her dorm door. They kiss passionately for a few moments, hands grasping and gripping. Lexa pulls away, breathing heavily. 

“Clarke.” she murmurs huskily and Clarke nods, meeting her lips again. She presses them once to Lexa’s and then separates. “I thought your mom was waiting for you.” 

“She can wait a little while longer, don’t you think? I’ve been waiting all my life for this.” 

“Me too and I would wait a thousand more for you.” Her thumb caresses Clarke’s cheek and Clarke leans into it, eyes dangerously misty. 

“It sure feels like we have.” They smile softly at one another for a second before Clarke presses her lips against Lexa’s again. She pulls away and then begins to speak “When she shall die/Take her and cut her out in little stars/and she will make the face of heaven so fine/ That all the world will be in love with night /And pay no worship to the garish sun.” 

“Romeo and Juliet.” Lexa says in realization. 

“That’s how I feel about you.” Clarke says lowly, eyes so wide and full of hope. 

“Oh, I have bought the mansion of a love/but not possessed it/and though I am sold/not yet enjoyed.” Lexa replies, one hand caressing Clarke’s cheek. Clarke leans into the touch, smiling contently before she pulls away and begins to guffaw. 

“Oh, my god. Are you asking me to bang? That’s what it means, right?” 

“No, that’s the next line.” Lexa says, smiling and pecking her lips. She hadn’t realized how much she missed her taste and now she was like a drunkard having wine again. 

“Okay, I’m not going to lie to you, I googled that quote.” Lexa rolls her eyes and pecks her mouth again. They kiss slowly for a few seconds, just enjoying their taste, their feel and Lexa thought her heart would burst with the joy in her body. Clarke pulls away and stares in her eyes, hesitating, Lexa raises an eyebrow for her to continue. 

“Lexa, what does this mean?” Clarke asks, her eyes wide. 

“Whatever you want it to mean.” 

“I want it to mean that you’re mine now.” She says softly and Lexa smiles. 

“And you’re mine.” Clarke looks up at her with bliss and kisses her hard again. 

“Clarke, what’s taking you so- oh, Lexa.” Abby says, turning a corner and running into them. The two girls separate slowly and Lexa’s arm goes around Clarke’s waist immediately. 

“Oh, sorry, mom. I was saying goodbyes.” 

“I can tell.” Abby replies, raising an eyebrow and Lexa blushes. “We have to go, Clarke. Marcus is already at the restaurant.” 

Clarke turns towards Lexa slowly, and she swallows uneasily. Lexa can tell she’s scared and Lexa would be lying if she said she wasn’t also a little bit terrified but she felt joy, most of all. Joy of finally having Clarke and not neglecting something for herself. 

“I’ll call you.” Lexa says and Clarke’s gaze softens, smiling slightly. 

“Let me just get my purse.” She smiles at Lexa once before opening and stepping into her dorm. 

“I’m happy for you both.” Abby says, startling Lexa. 

“Thank you.” 

“I know you’re not the punk that I first met and I’m happy you two have found each other.” 

“As am I.” Lexa replies, meaning it wholly. 

Clarke returns and kisses Lexa once, she leaves with her mom, head craning and waving goodbye. 

\- 

“Oh, my God.” Lexa moans as Clarke continued to work between her legs. She was standing in Clarke’s mom’s bridal room, her long gown bunched to her hips as Clarke continued to swirl her tongue on her clit. “Clarke, oh my god.” She pulls on Clarke’s hair and Clarke frowns, pulling away. 

“Stop pulling my hair, Lexa. I just got it done.” 

“Shh. Shh.” Lexa replies, nudging her between her legs again. Clarke rolls her eyes but relents and Lexa digs her hands harder into her hair. “Shit.” She comes fast and Clarke stands, lowering her gown while Lexa tries to catch her breath. Clarke grabs her lipstick from her clutch and reapplies it using her cellphone camera. 

“Wow, who knew that sex in a church would be so sexy?” Clarke asks, capping the lipstick and tossing it back into her clutch. She steps closer to Lexa and kisses her once. 

“I can’t believe we just did that. Isn’t your mom the one who is supposed to get laid tonight not you?” 

“Ugh, please don’t talk about sex and my mom ever again.” She pushes her away lightly and Lexa smirks. 

“I never knew how much I missed your mouth.” Lexa says, drawing her hands around Clarke’s hips. Clarke smiles and pulls her in for a kiss. 

“Well, you have reacquainted many times since then.” 

“We sure have.” Lexa replies, she dips her head and kisses the top of Clarke’s cleavage. “I missed you too, boobies.” Clarke chuckles and swats her away. 

“Shall we return to the festivities?” Clarke asks, Lexa sighs and nods. 

“Sure.” They walk arm in arm back to the reception. Raven and Anya sit at their shared table, drinking champagne and talking very loudly about the guests at the reception. 

“Hey, you bitches, your food is going to get cold.” Anya says in greeting as the two of them sit. 

“I’m not very hungry.” Clarke says and shrugs. 

“I, too, have eaten at Woods Dining and I, too, have been left full.” Raven says, sipping her champagne. The three girls cringe. 

“Oh, my God. Please shut up, Raven.” Lexa groans, covering her ears. Raven just shrugs and wags her tongue. 

“You want to dance?” Clarke asks and Lexa shrugs. 

“With you? I don’t think so. There was this really cute girl I saw around here.” She says and Clarke punches her arm. “Ow. Okay, let’s go.” She chuckles and let Clarke lead her to the dancefloor. Her eyes meet Abby’s and they both smile at each other. Abby has been nothing but supportive, especially in terms of Clarke’s career. 

Lexa was there when she first moved into the Arkadia dorms and Clarke loved the university. She never slept in her dorms and usually slept in Lexa’s apartment, in which she own two drawers at. Anya and Raven had walked into them twice already and Lexa had to triple lock her bedroom now. 

Lexa leans in and kisses her slowly, making Clarke smile and lean her head in the crook of her neck. 

Lexa was happy, one hundred percent happy and it was thanks to an annoying blonde named Clarke. 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i'm so late with the update, game of thrones fucked me up more than i thought possible also, i came out to my friend so that was pretty amazing! i hope you enjoyed and thank you for your wonderful comments and kudos, and subscriptions! you can talk to me about game of thrones (because that ending fuckk!!) or about this story! have a good day everybody and please let me know what you thought in the comments!  
> i hope you enjoyed this story because i sure enjoyed writing it.

**Author's Note:**

> this will be three parts. the second will be posted saturday night and the third sometime monday or sunday, depending on what time i get out of work and how much game of thrones wrecks me!!!! i hope you enjoyed, let me know what you thought in the comments.


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